A look at Biblical Fatherhood

Ever watched tv shows like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air with Will Smith, or movies like Hook with Robin Williams? Those that have know where this is going. For those who have not, a key part of the storylines in these movies is absent fatherhood. In Fresh Prince, the father is completely absent and the main character, a young man, is sent to live with his uncle in a stable home with two parents. In Hook, the father is there in the home, but physically and emotionally absent from the lives of his children as he is too wrapped up in his job and self. Many who read this might have or currently live in these realities and prayers are being said right now for those situations that God would come and redeem them. Some of reading this might be examples of the fathers of these situations. Prayers too are being said for you that God would stir your heart to lean into Him in order to live biblically as a father. Because the truth of the matter is that fathers matter.

According to the US Census Bureau, 1 out of every 4 children live out a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. This reality for so many young people leads some astonishing statics such as greater likelihood of poverty, teen pregnancy, behavioral problems, abuse, neglect, infant mortality, addiction, incarceration, obesity, criminality, and high school drop out. This list is staggering, and it should cause Christians to drop to their knees and pray for all those that do not have a father in the home. However, as revealed from the storyline of Hook. Having a father in the home does not magically reverse all of these situations. Even the discussion of what biblical fatherhood looks like, which will be laid out, does not guarantee that a child will turn out they way a parent desires. Only God knows, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9. This does not give you, dads, a free pass however for God also tells fathers, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. So obviously this is important. The hope is that the rest of this will flesh out and answer 2 critical questions that arise whenever we see these stories and statistics. What does it mean to be a biblical father/head of the household, and why is it important for fathers to be involved with their children. 

“Behold, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who filled his quiver with them!” Psalm 127:3-5.  Children the Lord has seen fit to bless you with are a reward. Fatherhood must begin here. This has be the foundation upon which our understanding of fulfilling the role of fatherhood is built upon. Children are not a burden, children are not property, children are not idols, and children are not projects. Children are arrows in the quiver for fathers to steward for the glory of God in the world. King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, understood as he penned the book of Proverbs to his sons to teach them wisdom. Throughout the Bible God charges and task fathers with the training up of children. (Prov. 22:6, Heb. 12:7, Deut. 6:7, Eph. 6:4, Prov. 29:17) Biblical fatherhood is pointing children to Jesus. Biblical fatherhood stems first and foremost from a father’s relationship with the heavenly Father. Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge…” Proverbs again informs us as fathers to seek after the wisdom of God. Failure on our part to seek out God first leads our children and wife in the wrong way. Proverbs is analogous to a thumbnail video of the larger Bible. Just as the Bible is wisdom left to us as God’s children to help guide us through life and tell us who He is. Proverbs is Solomon’s understanding the need to guide his son in the ways God has instructed for living. Through this book Solomon shows us that we must be intentional in our interactions with our children. 

Think about it. I personally have 6 children, and have recently been out of the home a bit more working while my wife is on maternity leave from her job. My oldest son as I am walking out the door yesterday said to my wife something to the effect of, “Why are you the only one with us all time.” Talk about insert knife and twist, and this change has only been for a season. Do we really think God does understand our struggle with the same thing in regards to him?” Jesus coming and living a human life and promising to be with us always (Matt. 28:20) is God showing us, as earthly fathers, the importance of the need to be present in the lives of our children. Solomon in Proverbs uses the term wisdom as a word picture for Christ. He implores his son to treasure and incline his heart towards wisdom. As believers, it is easy to see when time spent with the Lord through prayer and His Word has fallen to the wayside because the pull of our fleshly desires begin to increase. The same is true of a father’s interactions with their children just scroll up and reread the statistics.  When left to fleshly desires without guidance sin and destruction run rampant. For me practically, this has become making sure I set aside time to spend individually with my children. It is no coincidence that there are 31 chapters in Proverbs and roughly that many days in a month. I believe this a picture of the daily intentionally we need to have as fathers. So, set up dates with your children, bring your children along when you are serving in the church, and let them help with a household project all while using that time to teach them who God is and why Jesus is King in your life. (Deut. 11:19)

Fatherlessness is an unfortunate reality of a fallen world. However, praise God that those us who have a relationship with God can and will be used by him to reveal Jesus to our children. For those of you who don’t have children, pray how you can be a spiritual father to a young man much like Paul was to Timothy. God may even call some of you to adoption. No matter what God calls you too in the role of fatherhood. The key is how Jesus rephrases what the entire book of Proverbs is about, abide. (John 15) Biblical fatherhood and understanding the need to be present in the lives of our children all comes from the understanding that we can do nothing apart from Jesus and our abiding in who He is and who we are in Him.

Blessings, 

Austin Strange

My name is Austin Strange. I am a disciple of Christ of 22 years, a husband of 12 years, and a father of 6 from ages 8 to newborn. I hold a Master’s of Education from Rockhurst University and am a trained Colson Fellow. Currently I live a bi-vocational lifestyle as a Pastoral Resident in a non-denominational church  where I am the Director of Student Ministries and a stay-at-home dad where I homeschool my children.

“For the word of God is loving and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 CSB