Dr. Marie Yvette Hernandez-Seltz is the founder of Candescent Counseling, Consulting & Coaching. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and an M.S. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. She has spent the past 15 years studying self-esteem, self-confidence, responsibility, and the effects of environment and culture on the individual.

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Dr. Marie Seltz

Most parents desire to shelter their children from discomfort, pain, and fear. Despite our efforts, there will be times when our children will experience emotional or physical distress. – Using the acronym G.R.I.T., you’ll learn four steps you can use to help children manage stress, recover from trauma and adversity, and build resilience.

January 12, 2021

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Anthropologists believe that storytelling is important to human existence. We use stories to make sense of our world, find meaning, and share understanding. Fairy tales teach values, ethics, social and cultural norms and differences in an inspiring and captivating manner. Listeners learn how to imagine, problem-solve, identify with others, and practice respectful listening.

January 7, 2021

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Some Christians believe fairy tales are hurtful to children and may tempt them away from their Christian faith. In fact, fairy tales provide a wonderful foundation upon which to build a Christian perspective. Consider Pinocchio, Chronicles of Narnia, or the Legends of King Arthur. J.R. Tolkien believed fairy tales to be essential for all humanity. Tolkien said stories are needed so we can see that fairy tales are fulfilled in Christianity. Both Scripture and fairy tales point to our human weakness and our need for help. We share stories not to scare our children but to demonstrate their great need for God.

December 31, 2020

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What does “home for the holidays” look like to you? There are some expectations of change as children marry into other families with traditions of their own. It helps to focus on the blessings of these unions and less on the changes they bring to our celebrations. After all, the most important consistency of our Christmas is the Christmas Story itself. The story of a love so grand, so infinite, that God came down to live among us, and to teach us so that we might live and celebrate forever. We have forever to celebrate! Our time together is not finite because our Lord has prepared a place for us in our forever home with Him. He wants us to want to go home.

December 22, 2020

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As promised, here is my two-cents worth of advice to complete our 3-part discussion. This time of year, we tend to reflect and assess our lives, purpose, and impact on others. Invariably, there are people we have hurt and repairs we ought to make. Likewise, there are people who have hurt us that we ought to forgive. Forgiveness is powerful and important for the extender and the receiver. Forgiving releases both the forgiver and the forgiven from the imprisonment of resentment and negativity so that each can experience the fullness of God’s love in us and through us. I make it sound easy, don’t I? I do not mean to. In fact, extending forgiveness is exceedingly difficult…

December 14, 2020

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Struggling through the stages of regret and self-blame can be beneficial. Like Scrooge, who visited Christmas past, the struggle can allow us to grow in character and clarity and understand what is important, valuable, and meaningful. Such clarity and understanding clears our mind of the heavy cloud of guilt so we can show up, see the colors of life, and intentionally move towards mending the pains of our present and past comportment.

December 9, 2020

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Regret can either paralyze you or move you to action. As with almost everything, you have options. Do you have to forgive? No, you can choose not to. However, like Dr. Seuss’s famous character, The Grinch, this decision will debilitate you, weigh you down, and keep you locked into thoughts and feelings of negativity. It is much easier to hold onto regret, anger, and feelings of disappointment that match your disposition. However, hope, resilience, redemption, and renewal can spring from your decision to forgive.

November 30, 2020

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My father always refused the last piece of pie at Thanksgiving. If it was offered to him, he would give it to another. As a child, his way confused me and instilled wonder in me. As an adult, I’ve grown to understand my father’s self-restraint and relegation as a position of strength and humility. — Every family has traditions; sometimes they are rooted in rich meaning. What lies behind your family’s customs?

November 23, 2020

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When friendships are rough and emotions are high, it takes courage to stay engaged and push through the challenge. When we persevere, we can find healing, and a deeper connection that is impossible otherwise. Friendship is a gift that we must protect and fight for.

November 16, 2020

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Cultivating a friendship requires outward focus – our relationship grows deeper when we intentionally affirm, encourage and take interest in another person rather than trying to impress them. In order to nurture a true friendship, we must evaluate our motives and intentions. Does our desire for relationship flow from our own needs? or are we ready to genuinely invest ourselves in the process?

November 9, 2020

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