Dr. Marie Yvette Hernandez-Seltz is the founder of Candescent Counseling, Consulting & Coaching. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and an M.S. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. She has spent the past 15 years studying self-esteem, self-confidence, responsibility, and the effects of environment and culture on the individual.

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Dr. Marie Seltz

Pranksters and foxes can be sly, amusing, and scheming. We don’t always know when we are ensnared in a mischievous prank or calculated plot.

January 20, 2022

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As we draw towards the close of another calendar year, there are decisions to make and questions to ask ourselves and one another.

December 8, 2021

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Being yourself brings honor to the relationships you have with others and yourself. When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself for who you truly are?

October 27, 2021

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One simple thing you can do to be happier in any situation, without feeling guilty, and without changing your circumstances.

September 21, 2021

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Consider that most conversations surrounding mask requirements focus solely on restrictions and control, which certainly exist. But there are also unexpected freedoms afforded by mask-wearing. I know individuals who have voiced an appreciation of these unexpected freedoms and social interactions.

April 22, 2021

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The Italian plural word confetti originates from the Latin confectum, meaning “small sweet”. It symbolizes the sweet blessings in life. The sweetest blessings are often the fruit of hard work, discipline, planning and sacrifice. They often include difficult, bitter seasons. But are those bitter moments part of the blessing?

March 24, 2021

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We will have obstacles, pain, and hardships in our life. If we allow them to, they will cloud our opportunities, happiness, and focus. A radical shift is often needed to flip our perspective to one of purpose, peace, and prospect.

February 25, 2021

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Most parents desire to shelter their children from discomfort, pain, and fear. Despite our efforts, there will be times when our children will experience emotional or physical distress. – Using the acronym G.R.I.T., you’ll learn four steps you can use to help children manage stress, recover from trauma and adversity, and build resilience.

January 12, 2021

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Anthropologists believe that storytelling is important to human existence. We use stories to make sense of our world, find meaning, and share understanding. Fairy tales teach values, ethics, social and cultural norms and differences in an inspiring and captivating manner. Listeners learn how to imagine, problem-solve, identify with others, and practice respectful listening.

January 7, 2021

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Some Christians believe fairy tales are hurtful to children and may tempt them away from their Christian faith. In fact, fairy tales provide a wonderful foundation upon which to build a Christian perspective. Consider Pinocchio, Chronicles of Narnia, or the Legends of King Arthur. J.R. Tolkien believed fairy tales to be essential for all humanity. Tolkien said stories are needed so we can see that fairy tales are fulfilled in Christianity. Both Scripture and fairy tales point to our human weakness and our need for help. We share stories not to scare our children but to demonstrate their great need for God.

December 31, 2020

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What does “home for the holidays” look like to you? There are some expectations of change as children marry into other families with traditions of their own. It helps to focus on the blessings of these unions and less on the changes they bring to our celebrations. After all, the most important consistency of our Christmas is the Christmas Story itself. The story of a love so grand, so infinite, that God came down to live among us, and to teach us so that we might live and celebrate forever. We have forever to celebrate! Our time together is not finite because our Lord has prepared a place for us in our forever home with Him. He wants us to want to go home.

December 22, 2020

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As promised, here is my two-cents worth of advice to complete our 3-part discussion. This time of year, we tend to reflect and assess our lives, purpose, and impact on others. Invariably, there are people we have hurt and repairs we ought to make. Likewise, there are people who have hurt us that we ought to forgive. Forgiveness is powerful and important for the extender and the receiver. Forgiving releases both the forgiver and the forgiven from the imprisonment of resentment and negativity so that each can experience the fullness of God’s love in us and through us. I make it sound easy, don’t I? I do not mean to. In fact, extending forgiveness is exceedingly difficult…

December 14, 2020

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Struggling through the stages of regret and self-blame can be beneficial. Like Scrooge, who visited Christmas past, the struggle can allow us to grow in character and clarity and understand what is important, valuable, and meaningful. Such clarity and understanding clears our mind of the heavy cloud of guilt so we can show up, see the colors of life, and intentionally move towards mending the pains of our present and past comportment.

December 9, 2020

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Regret can either paralyze you or move you to action. As with almost everything, you have options. Do you have to forgive? No, you can choose not to. However, like Dr. Seuss’s famous character, The Grinch, this decision will debilitate you, weigh you down, and keep you locked into thoughts and feelings of negativity. It is much easier to hold onto regret, anger, and feelings of disappointment that match your disposition. However, hope, resilience, redemption, and renewal can spring from your decision to forgive.

November 30, 2020

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My father always refused the last piece of pie at Thanksgiving. If it was offered to him, he would give it to another. As a child, his way confused me and instilled wonder in me. As an adult, I’ve grown to understand my father’s self-restraint and relegation as a position of strength and humility. — Every family has traditions; sometimes they are rooted in rich meaning. What lies behind your family’s customs?

November 23, 2020

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When friendships are rough and emotions are high, it takes courage to stay engaged and push through the challenge. When we persevere, we can find healing, and a deeper connection that is impossible otherwise. Friendship is a gift that we must protect and fight for.

November 16, 2020

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Cultivating a friendship requires outward focus – our relationship grows deeper when we intentionally affirm, encourage and take interest in another person rather than trying to impress them. In order to nurture a true friendship, we must evaluate our motives and intentions. Does our desire for relationship flow from our own needs? or are we ready to genuinely invest ourselves in the process?

November 9, 2020

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Friendship is one of the greatest blessings we can receive and give. What makes a friendship good? How can we be a good friend? And why is it important to be in relationship? Let’s take a deeper look at the friendships in our lives and consider how we can nurture them.

November 2, 2020

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I got “ducked” on a beautiful night last week. Leaving Cottleville Wine Sellars, my friends and I returned to my Jeep to find a small, yellow, masked, rubber ducky sitting on my door handle. I was at once amused and then a bit nervous as to what it meant. I cautiously picked up the little fellow and read it’s card aloud, “Holy Duck…I love your Jeep! Stay calm and duck on! Share a smile and share a duck!” We all laughed in delightful surprise. How and why did ducking begin, I wondered?

October 26, 2020

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I recently witnessed a young mother take two lollipops out of her purse and hand one to each of her children. The candy was to occupy them quietly so that she could return to her conversation. However, her strategy backfired as her daughter shouted that she wanted the red lollipop that her brother had been given. Thus began the back and forth tussle of jealousy that robbed both children of the pleasure of enjoying an unexpected, sweet treat and their mother of enjoying a much-needed adult conversation.

October 19, 2020

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As we greet autumn and begin looking forward to the holiday season, many of us are apprehensive about how our celebrations may be changing this year. Don’t lose hope if you are dreading the disruption of long-honored traditions this year. Even in the midst of our most difficult struggles, we can find hope, thankfulness, and contentment.

October 12, 2020

nature red forest leaves

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In this life, we will walk through fire, hardship and turmoil. These trials produce meaningful growth that we don’t experience during periods of tranquility and peace. As Christians, what hope can we cling to as we go through periods of hardship in our personal lives, and as a country?

October 5, 2020

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